jump to navigation

Bah, humbug! ‘Xmas tree tax’ is what’s wrong, people November 9, 2011

Posted by WillardWhyte in Musings, Politics.
Tags: , , ,
add a comment

First of all, the Obama Administration is not proposing a 15-cent tax on your Christmas Tree, as the marketers of political claptrap would have you believe.

As this straight-arrow Associated Press account will tell you, it’s all part of an Ag Dept standing operation. The National Christmas Tree Association  has been asking for three years for authority to require of its members who grow trees a 15-cent-per-tree assessment to pay for a national campaign promoting the purchase of natural, piney smelling, needle-shedding things to hang your ornaments from. It reeks a little of using Uncle Sam to strong-arm the farmers who don’t want the campaign, but that’s another issue.

The standing program was used for the “Got Milk’ campaign the dairy industry mounted, the ‘Other White Meat’ program’ the pig industry got going and 16 others. The growers want an ad campaign to battle the people like WalMart who sell imported aritificial Christmas trees they make from oil. These latter folks also sell little aerosol cans made in Mexico that let you spray scent to make these things smell like “real” trees.

But the Heritage Foundation, which I guess has annointed itself the protector of stuff made outside of this country for people to buy to celebrate an American tradition, got all hot and bothered that the poor consumer would have to fork over $35.15 this year for a tree — if they were buying a real one — from the tree stand that bought the trees from the farmer who grew the trees whose trade organization wants to collect 15 cents a tree from the farmer to try to save his dying business. If you follow.

The Heritage Foundation, all in the spirit of Christmas and stuff, sees this as a readymade missile to file at President Obama — you remember him — that (really a Muslim) guy in the White House who has nothing better to do than dream up a “tax” on Christmas, he being all hellbent on stamping out that little annoyance along with Chevrolet (oh, sorry. He saved Chevy), Apple Pie and, well, freedom itself.

So this fine defender of all our freedoms — this Heritage Foundation — gets everyone all lathered up against the plan the thousands of U.S. farmers came up with to impose a fee upon themselves to pay for advertising to try to talk us all back into buying real trees grown on American soil, instead of  phony ones that look crappier every year made in Thailand by machines that pour plastic refined from oil bought maybe from Malaysia into molds and so forth.

In this Christmasy spirit,  this Heritage Foundation slips up our chimney with — the Big Lie. Just what we all wanted in our holiday stocking — a big, stinky, rotting fish of a campaign that probably is going to overwhelm all that piney spray the kids are sure to have gotten ahold of by now.

And the paid repeaters of partisan crapola blog this to living death until the USDA puts the whole thing on hold. But not before the Houston Chronicle concludes:

Obama backs off on plan to destroy Christmas

Oh Mama! My favorite part of this whole dog-chases-tail pile of baloney?

These two guys in the AP story, after all the facts in the matter were laid out:

Conservative critics were unbowed. David Addington, a former chief of staff to Vice President Dick Cheney and now a vice president at the conservative Heritage Foundation, said in a post on the think tank’s website that the money coming into the federal government constitutes a tax.

“The American Christmas tree has a great image that doesn’t need any help from the government,” Addington said.

Rep. Steve Scalise, R-La., piled on.

“This new tax is a smack in the face to each and every American who celebrates Christmas, and may be the best example to date of President Obama’s obsession with taxing and regulating hard-working American families,” he said.

Now Addington is substituting his opinion about the current state of the Christmas tree’s image — he thinks it needs no help — with that of the farmers who are growing the things, selling fewer and fewer each year and want to ante up 15 cents a tree for advertising they dream up to try to talk us back out into the freezing cold every December instead of picking a tree in a heated store while sucking down some giveaway cider.

I’m dumb, but I’m guessing the tree farmer guys were going to take the 15 cents a tree out of their end, if for no other reason than to not have to lug around a big sack of quarters and nickels and dimes  to make change, a process that surely would require them to take off their gloves a hundred times a night in the 20 degree cold. Not having to do that would be worth 15 cents a tree out of my end.  I’m guessing Addington never had to make change in the freezing figgging cold.

Then there’s this Scalise guy from some district down in Louisiana that’s probably pumping the oil that’s going to Thailand to make the phony trees, and he’s taking the whole argument up to a presidential “obsession” with taxing everything up to and including the tinsel, the tinker toys and the toy soldiers.

They both know what they are pushing out is a pile of that same ingredient the reindeer leave in the gutter while they’re waiting for the Fat Guy to glom down another couple of cookies and milk.

They know its crapola. Yet they still cling to the line, no matter how absolutely ridiculous they sound.

Hey nimrods — here’s my thought for the day. We all have a choice, given the current deck out there. And for the sake of argument, I’m going to give you the Obama Christmas Tree tax hoax for a moment.

So here’s the choice:

1 — I pay the 15 cent tax Obama wants to foist on us all to help out a couple thousand struggling farmers and my tree costs $35.15 forever.

2 — Or I get to pay the 9% NATIONAL SALES TAX your front-running alternative Herman Cain is proposing and my tree  costs me  $38.15.

I’m gonna go with the Christmas-hating Obama plan and use the money I save on a Pez dispenser.

And maybe wonder just how big an idiot you think I am when I roll into the voting booth in 11 months, because this kind of conniving, con jobbery is what’s wrong dudes.

Try addressing a real problem, honestly, with a solution where the math would get by Miss Ponder in Grade 3 . I don’t think you’ve got the tools, sport.

And I’m tired of your lies — and your ham-handed manipulations.

Worse yet, I’m telling Santa!